Dear Mr. No-Name Black Lab,
I have never been a fan of pet shops. I avoid them as far as possible. But one day, when my life seemed like it was crumbling, I found you. You looked at me with your beautiful black doggie eyes, through the window of one of my favourite buildings in Abu Dhabi, and I fell in love. I haunted the building often, and over the past 4-5 months, you became one of my best friends. You knew about my heartache, and my heartfix, you knew my friends and we rolled our eyes together at them giggling over, "Kyra’s talking to her dog again". I’d spend many minutes, cross-legged on a cold tile floor, talking to you and you understood. I know you did. Your liquid eyes looked sad and angry when I told you how he was sure, you wagged your tail when I told you about London. In turn, you told me how stupid you thought it was that you had to share your area of the petshop with cats. It bothered you so much, I even spoke to the owner about it, who unfortunately, looked at me blankly and asked, "Maydum, bunny rabbit for you?" Neither you nor I were too pleased about that.
One day, last month, I came to visit you, and you were gone. I never got to say good-bye. My heart clenched, hoping you’re with people who love you, and I just wanted you to know, that I’m happy. Not the kind of feeling thats just the opposite of unhappy, but really really happy. Im back in the country I had told you I was frightened to come back to, because the last time I saw it, was the last time I saw him. I had thought it would be littered with memories of him, but it isnt. Upon touching down on Indian soil after a year, I breathed in the smell that has been home all my life. And I feel alive. When I lay on SS’s bed and picked up conversation where we’d left off almost 10 months ago, I felt alive. When I’m a Rider on the Storm, gazing at clouds and feeling the world whizz by, something nicely, I feel alive. When I’m having 2am sandwiches on kitchen counters, playing Tap Tap and making up French phrases with the Tejas, I feel alive. When Im being mean with Astro, I feel alive. When the thumb of Mr. Nice Guy intentionally and unintentionally caresses my wrists, I feel alive.When Im revelling in the company of Diaryface (which totally lives upto the hype), I feel alive.
Alive, aliver, alivest.
I hope that wherever you are, whomever you’re with, you’re just as happy. I hope youre still beautiful, and that youre far away from cats. I just needed to tell you this, because Ive told you all the bad, and now I want you to know how good everything is. I wanted you to know that I love you, and that conversations with you kept me sane, and you were more mine than anything or anyone else those particular months. I wanted you to know, that I know now, how good life is supposed to be.