This blog is an answer to the two questions that have haunted me for days.
Few people understand why I got my tattoo and what it means to me.
For months now, I have felt OLD. I got what I wanted in life too…soon.
I live on my own in a city I adore, studying media.
I have wonderful friends who take very good care of me and family that has mastered the art of "dealing with Kyra".
I realised there was little to look forward to, little to DO.
I felt old. And when you’re just 18, thats pretty sad.
My tattoo makes me feel alive. It makes me feel young.
An idea that has been simmering in my mind for over a year, gave birth at the right time.
It engulfed me – and I knew.
This was something I had to do. And I did it.
And I dont remember the last time I felt better about myself.
It took me two years to get over the elusive F.
I still wonder about him.
What he looks like now, what he’s doing. I dont think Ill ever stop wondering.
He represents the first forever I ever dreamed about.
And that isnt something thats easy to forget.
After F, came NM who gave me rush of adrenaline.
He provided the best distraction I will ever know.
He was so distracting, I never noticed the curly head that sat next to me every morning.
Sipping chai and listening and being.
I never noticed how he was always there.
And how I felt when he wasnt.
I never noticed how I can be with him in dirty shorts and faded sweatshirts and not care.
I never noticed how I felt something more valuable than a rush of adrenaline when hes around.
I feel comfortable. And content. And like Kyra.
Not a Kyra who has to wear pretty skirts, or who has to say meaningful things all the time.
I feel I can be whoever I want to be.
There are no pretences.
So in answer to the question that has consumed me for weeks…
Yes, HK, Yes.
To my beautiful turquoise randomity and the pink flowers that wow it. And how it has become a source of energy.
To questions – and how the answers are there from the start. They just need to come out in their own comfortable time.
To dopamine. And Toy Story 3.
To waking up after an afternoon nap on a perfect yellow sofa and knowing.
Completely and comfortably.