Tattoos and Tomorrows.

 
This blog is an answer to the two questions that have haunted me for days.
 
Few people understand why I got my tattoo and what it means to me.
For months now, I have felt OLD. I got what I wanted in life too…soon.
I live on my own in a city I adore, studying media.
I have wonderful friends who take very good care of me and family that has mastered the art of "dealing with Kyra".
Too soon.
I realised there was little to look forward to, little to DO.
I felt old. And when you’re just 18, thats pretty sad.
My tattoo makes me feel alive. It makes me feel young.
An idea that has been simmering in my mind for over a year, gave birth at the right time.
It engulfed me – and I knew.
This was something I had to do. And I did it.
And I dont remember the last time I felt better about myself.
 
It took me two years to get over the elusive F.
I still wonder about him.
What he looks like now, what he’s doing. I dont think Ill ever stop wondering.
He represents the first forever I ever dreamed about.
And that isnt something thats easy to forget.
After F, came NM who gave me rush of adrenaline.
He provided the best distraction I will ever know.
He was so distracting, I never noticed the curly head that sat next to me every morning.
Sipping chai and listening and being.
I never noticed how he was always there.
And how I felt when he wasnt.
I never noticed how I can be with him in dirty shorts and faded sweatshirts and not care.
I never noticed how I felt something more valuable than a rush of adrenaline when hes around.
I feel comfortable. And content. And like Kyra.
Not a Kyra who has to wear pretty skirts, or who has to say meaningful things all the time.
I feel I can be whoever I want to be.
There are no pretences.
So in answer to the question that has consumed me for weeks…
Yes, HK, Yes.
 
To my beautiful turquoise randomity and the pink flowers that wow it. And how it has become a source of energy.
To questions – and how the answers are there from the start. They just need to come out in their own comfortable time.
To dopamine. And Toy Story 3.
To waking up after an afternoon nap on a perfect yellow sofa and knowing.
Completely and comfortably.
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8 thoughts on “Tattoos and Tomorrows.

  1. I\’d like relevant comments on this space please.
    "HMMMMMMM" does not apply.
    If comments like that appear on this space, they will be deleted.
    Thank you.
     
    – ".." I dont know who you are, but you are irritating the hell out of me. If you persist in commenting your insightful "hmmmmm\’s" on this space, I will persist in deleting them.

  2. hey hey hey…u dont know me at all..n niether do i..i just read ur stuff..cuz i liked it..n i didnt coment on it cuz i didnt think i have to..but ur stuff always made me think n shit..so left a "hmmmm".. m sorry i wudnt do it again…didnt mean to irritate u at all. just really liked readin ur stuff!

  3. Thank you for clarifying =D
    Im happy that Mappings makes you think.
    Keep reading, there\’ll be more to come!
    And about your comment – if my stuff makes you think then say so. "hmmm" is very ambiguous.
     

  4. Yayyyyyyyy!!!  *does an ungainly jig around the computer*I was thinking of something more profound to say, but I just can\’t seem to think of anything. I\’m just sighing. I\’m so happy, something inside me bubbles over at the thought of you and Curly [He\’s going to shoot me for that]. I love you both soooo much. *Sighs loudly and happily and wistfully and sighs again*Mwah. To all the tomorrows that you cannot yet see- May there be love, and beauty and hope and peace. Above everything, I hope you are content- loving, and in the knowledge that you are loved. Ri

  5.  =D
    I lurve you too. plenty. You were one of the first three people I TOLD. Something Aamir\’s not forgiving me for!
    And I appreciate the "ungainly jig around computer" – more than any of the profound blah blah Ive been getting lately.
    And woman! Will you please meet me sometime! We\’re in the same college, and youre the most difficult person to grab and plonk in front of – im leaving for abu dhabi on friday so before that?!
    Muah muah.
    Muah.

  6. well.. i din really kno how to react to this..
    n i have goofed up before by assumin things in this girls case..
    and i cant ever forgive myself for tat..
    and frankly it was lil absurd for ME to react on this but now..
    im really happy for you..
    and ive known this curlberry HK for quite some time..
    he\’s a chap n pretty kude..
    all the best..
    god bless
     
    PS: if HK is readin this ever.. u bet he will.. then.. all the best there and congrats..
     
    certainly these two curl pearls look stunning together..
     
     
     
     

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