Its the beginning of a new semester – which I usually adore.
It feels new.
And Im usually eager to do all the things I spent a Diwali vacation NOT doing.
This semester, nothing feels right.
Its something in the way I couldnt get myself to inaugurate my new notebook with Randomity.
Its something in the way Im talking to the people who didnt speak to me for a year. And the people I HAVE been talking to for over a year arent talking to me.
Its the way I blushed when I met NM. Then yelled. Then was indifferent. And now Im left with few emotions to show him.
Its the way a friends feelings have shifted – to something that overwhelms me.
Its the way I no longer find peace sitting on the balcony ledge and listening to music.
Its also the way Im so highly-strung these days I cant get myself to finish a meal or get enough sleep.
Mappings can feel the change.
He can feel the pauses and backspaces.
He can feel the uncertainty.
In comparison to the passionate speedy typing he’s used to.
He smiles and twinkles at me.
And he’s usually rather surly because I always wake him at nap time.
But he says nothing today.
He too, feels the pause.
A special mention to my TY’s and Thursday night. How much Ill miss you all when you leave!
And to RK – One of the rare people whom it is a joy opening up to.
And most importantly, my SS. My only stability. I lou you.