Absolved?

I am reading this book. The protagonist makes a list of all her most embarassing secrets and doing so is absolved from the guilt and shame of those secrets. I am going to do the same – Mappings will love me all the same.
 
1- I have a post-it obsession. Theyre all over my belongings in all shapes and colours with "Things to do" written on them purposefully. I doubt Ive ever done any of the things the post-its tell me to do.
2- I dont think Ill ever be able to drive. I have an irrational fear of the inner doo-dahs of cars.
3- One cookie is never enough. I have been known to finish entire boxes of Oreos and Chips Ahoy in a matter of minutes.
4- I leave dirty laundry on the floor.
5- And it usually stays there till I feel sorry for it.
6- There is weird unidentifiable mould in the fridge that I THINK is butter chicken from last month. Which means I cant blame it on my very sane flatmate.
7- Randomity isnt creative. Theyre scary words hiding behind a pretty doodle-facade of flowers and spirals.
8- When I lose my temper and im ALONE, I have been known to jump up and down in rage.
9- My Memory Box which was once a well-organised box of school and childhood memories has now become "The box i dump things in when i dont want to lose it and when i dont know where else to put them". For eg, various USB cables, dried flowers, toe rings, and scraps of paper with numbers but no name. Useful, wouldnt you say?
10- I dont floss. The concept frightens the hell out of me.
11- I have an unhealthy BAD BAD obsession with gossip magazines. Sigh.
12- I slurp my tea. And in the presence of close friends (who know im insane) I drink it from a straw. And blow bubbles with the last few drops.
 
There is more. I know it. But i have sit down and think about it properly. These are the ones that niggle at me, waggling their grubby little fingers and indulging in the occasional snicker. They snicker when i do my efficient "hair flip and nod, and scribble on a post-it "to do!". I never do DO, you see.
Everyone has their secrets. And who cares now, anyway?
Ive been absolved.
Mappings, my hero.
 
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