a mad girl’s love song.

 
Sometimes, it takes a familiar voice over an international phone line, to make you want to run back to what you were running from. Sometimes it takes that old friend I call "anger" to curl up your insides and remember that perhaps – home is a different place now.
Sometimes maybe old friends arent what you remembered. Or maybe you’ve been away so long, you’ve conjured up memories that dont exist anymore. its cigarette smoke. one poof, and its gone. Sometimes you’re looking forward to something with years of pent-up "looking forward to it" and then you’re just deflated. Sometimes you’re staring at a photograph thinking of "us and we" and then you’re just "whatever". A pah and a ‘All by Myself"
Disappointment?
He’s an old friend.
 
A lot of people think Sylvia Plath is a neurotic loony freak. When we studied her in college, I saw a lot of intelligent faces grimace and a lot of bodies shudder. But, she understands. Her anguish and her heartbreak rings true. Disappointment wasnt just an old friend of Plaths. He was a lover, who tortured and taunted and kissed and bruised and battered.
So maybe Im better off?
 
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead
I lift my lids and all is born again
I think I made you up inside my head
 
The stars go waltzing out in blue and red
And arbitrary blackness gallops in
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead
 
I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane
I think I made you up inside my head
 
God topples from the sky, hell’s fires fade
Exit seraphim and Satan’s men
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead
 
I fancied you’d return the way you said
But I grow old and I forget your name
I think I made you up inside my head
 
I should have loved a thunderbird instead
At least when spring comes they roar back again
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead
I think I made you up inside my head
 – A Mad Girl’s Love Song by Sylvia Plath
 
Dedicated to disappointments. I wish most of them weren’t reality, and WERE made up inside my head.
And to F. For whom personalised versions of this poem was written. Many months and minutes ago.
 
 
 
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One thought on “a mad girl’s love song.

  1. as u say a couple of times in ur writings..A LOT HAS CHANGED..since i read ur blog.. a lot has changed..

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